Getting ready for Cinco de fucking Mayo? It’s one of my favorite holidays for bad decisions. This year you might make a couple shitty judgment calls but don’t start with your margarita mix. You see how many goddamn ingredients are in those fuckers? Red 40? WHATTHEFUCKISTHAT? Artificial flavors? GO FUCK YOURSELF. Don’t be serving up disrespectful drinks.
STRAWBERRY GRAPEFRUIT MARGARITA
¾ cup tequila (optional, but who are you kidding?)
¾ cup grapefruit juice (about 1 grapefruit)
¼ cup lime juice (about 3 limes)
1 cup frozen strawberries (whole strawberries are really fucking hard to measure. It was about 8 medium sized strawberries but extra won’t hurt a thing)
1 ½ cups ice
Blend that shit up.
If your fruit wasn’t super sweet you might need to add a little something extra like a teaspoon or two of whateverthefuck sweetener you like to use is fine. Personally I like agave but you can use honey or sugar. Serve this up immediately.
Make about 32 ounces, enough to relax 2 people
Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders an absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense - Emerson <3